October 22 (lovin that easy title)

Just been chillin lately. Saturday was the cousin's bday and hit up oiwake (japanese restaurant) which was also a bar. I was trippin most of the time because well...im not 21 yet and i dunno if bribing the bouncer would work this time around (it worked before last time i was there). But when i got there they didnt even card anyone and i got the stamp. It's a chill place. Fuck i wish i had a camera haha. Each day i fuck around with my cousins SLR it makes me want to get one on the spot. But itll come one day. Probably after the HDTV haha. Anyway, so we just chilled and drank the night away and gave Fil random ass drinks which made him the most wasted hes ever been haha. I'm sure he wasnt having much fun by the end. When my bday comes i definitely dont wanna get wasted. More like a drunk where im having the the time of my life and end it on a good note. O and i wanna remember the whole night lol. The bday wasnt over there as i tagged along to the dinner with the family at this classy looking place where they sell expensive steaks which was fucking bomb! It was pretty a pretty dope location. Next to the airport where you can see planes taking off. After that it was back to his house for some red velvet cake and then i bounced back to the weak sauce palmdale.

Monday was fucking draaaaining! Couldn't sleep at all and ended up getting 3 hours of sleep. Then went to AVC to play tennis (which was my only class thank God) and it was tooo damn hot (where did the cold go?). Then i thought i could just rest at home but i decided to hit up the gym with the homie and then that night it was his birthday so i stayed out till like 1:30 cuz i was already falling asleep. I didn't feel like getting up and doing anything but smoking that hookah as thats a chill thing to do. O lets go to some serious talk.

I wasn't only tired but i was just feeling weird. Lately chilling with friends has just been off. For some reason i feel out of place like i dont belong there. I can't really explain it in detail as i really don't know whats going on with me but its just how things been lately. Like i don't feel the bonds are there when it comes to me. When i take a look around the room and see everyone hanging out i just go damn...and i just feel different like im not a part of the group. I changed the way i act now and its not the same as before. Like for example one of them says insults like "ur an asshole or fuck you or just be mad whenever I leave early for something or just some other shit". He would usually be messing around and doesn't mean it but now i just feel that he's being serious and im taking it to heart sometimes and just get angry and say fuck this shit i don't need to hear it you know? It's just a random feeling that just goes to my head and i make a big deal about it i guess. I dunno...i guess things change? O and im sure at least ONE of the readers of this blog knows who im talking about. I'm not targeting him or anything like that. It was just an example. I really don't know what to do about it but just chill with friends and see what happens.

-Brent